Coping With The Loss of a Pet

Grieving the loss of a pet is a difficult time for any owner. If you have found your way to this page, then let us start by saying how truly sorry we are for your loss. Losing someone you love is never easy, especially when they bring nothing but joy, laughter, and unconditional love into your life.

When you first get a pet, you prepare yourselves for your life together; you buy toys and bedding, choose the ideal food and pick out the perfect name. What people rarely consider is what comes after, which is why we've put this article together to help you through the grieving process.

How to Cope with the Loss of a Pet

Grief is the brain’s natural way to deal with a loss, and while the feeling may be unwelcome, it’s completely normal and shows the strong bond you had with your pet.

It can feel very overwhelming at times and lead to confusing emotions such as anger, sadness, guilt, or shock, which can begin to impact your daily life. Many who experience grief can experience changes in their appetite or sleeping patterns, and may struggle to complete everyday tasks.

This is normal. Even if you feel like no one around understands, it's important to remember that they do, and there are people around who want to help you through it in any way they can.

Saying Goodbye at the Vets

Unfortunately, most pets have a much shorter lifespan than we do, and a number of factors can affect it, such as illness and injury. It's essential that every owner or prospective owner understands this before taking on the responsibility of bringing a pet into their lives.

It is the moral and ethical obligation of a vet to put an end to an animal’s pain and suffering if their quality of life has fallen below an acceptable point. Choosing to end a pet’s suffering with euthanasia is an incredibly distressing decision for both the vet and the owner. Unfortunately, this decision often needs to be made quickly and under duress.

Don’t be afraid to ask your vet questions beforehand. They want to make sure that you are making the right choice for your pet and will be more than happy to offer advice and answer any questions you have.

Talking about Your Loss

It can be hard to reach out after a loss, but ultimately it’s the first step toward overcoming the feelings that would otherwise stay bottled up inside you.

If you’ve lost a family pet, try talking to other family members who are struggling, sharing your feelings, and helping each other along the way. If you’ve lost your companion, contact a friend or family member who knows what they meant to you.

If you’re uncomfortable reaching out to friends or family, or you’d rather talk to someone impartial to your situation, several options are available. You can book an appointment to speak with your GP (especially if your grief is affecting your health or day-to-day life), a counsellor or therapist, or even call a pet bereavement line.

How to Help Someone Grieve the Loss of a Pet

If someone you know is grieving the loss of a pet, then it can be hard to know what to do, especially if you don’t have a pet of your own.

The key is to be patient. Everyone grieves in their own way, and even though it can be hard to see a loved one struggling, they need all the support they can get during this difficult time. Be there for them where you can and be supportive and sympathetic.

Loss is loss, and it will affect everyone differently, but being a shoulder to cry on or offering a listening ear can be just the thing someone needs to help.

Helping Children Understand the Loss of a Pet

Losing a pet can be particularly hard for children, as it may well be their first experience of death, and they may not understand the feeling.

In times like this, the best thing you can do is to be honest and open with them about what’s happened. It can be tempting to try to ease their suffering by using phrases such as “put to sleep” or “gone to a better place”, but this can make things even harder for your child. They might feel their pet has been left because of something they’d done, or be confused about why they can’t visit.

How you manage the situation will depend on the child’s age and understanding of death:

• Younger children may struggle to grasp why their pet is no longer around or why you become upset when they ask.
• Older children tend to understand better and may ask what’s happened to their furry friend. It’s best to have an open and honest conversation with them and help them come to terms with the sudden change in their lives.

Getting another pet to help your child cope with the loss may be tempting, but it can complicate matters by delaying healing or causing conflicting emotions. It’s always best to wait until everyone in the family is ready before bringing home a new four-legged friend.

Ways to Remember Your Pet Fondly

Everyone grieves in their own ways, and it's perfectly normal to want to find a way to commemorate your pet's life and the love you have for them still.

While your pet may be gone, your memories of them and the impact they had on your life deserves to last a lifetime.

Here are some of our top tips for remembering your pet after they've passed:

Pet Memorials

Funerals and memorials have been around for centuries and for good reason. The idea of celebrating someone's life after their death helps mourners to come to terms with the fact that someone is gone and marks the next chapter in their life without their loved one.

It’s perfectly normal to want to hold a small funeral for your pet, burying something of theirs (such as a collar or a bed), scattering their ashes in their favourite walking spot, or just taking some time to sit and remember them.

As the grief begins to fade, you can talk about all the good times you had with your pet, share any photographs you have, and cement their memory in your lives.

Pet Keepsakes

There are plenty of ways to remember and commemorate your pet, and what you choose will depend entirely on how much of a reminder you want and your personal preference.

Having a pet keepsake is an excellent way to keep your beloved pet close. Here are some of our top picks for pet keepsakes:

• A keyring with a photo of your pet
• Jewellery with a pet photo or their ashes inside
• Planting a tree or shrub at home in their memory
• Getting an imprint of their paw in ink or clay
• Keeping a tuft of your pet's fur

How you choose to mourn your pet is up to you, and if a keepsake brings you peace in this difficult time then who can argue with how you choose to do it.

Donating to a Cause

Sometimes, the best way to commemorate a life is to take steps to improve another.

Many animal rescues in the UK offer ways for you to mark your loss with donations, trees of life, or even sponsoring another pet in your beloved's name, such as:

• Donate in Memory at Dog's Trust
• Giving in Memory at Cat's Protection
• In Memory Givingat Blue Cross
• Donate in Memory at Battersea
• Make a Donation in Memory of a Petat RSPCA

Local animal charities also have their own options for donating in memory of a loved one, be it a pet or a person, so if you have a local animal shelter or charity you would rather donate to, get in touch with them.

Losing a pet is never easy, and although we’re sure you’ve heard it before, it does get better with time. Soon, the pain of their passing will be another memory, and you can choose to focus on the happy ones, full of life, love and laughter that made them such a staple in your family to begin with.

If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a pet, we recommend contacting resources like the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement and Pet Loss Support line, or any family and friends who can support you during this difficult time.